Breaking the Silence

WHY AM I GOING BACK TO BLOGGING :)

In 1984, my father (and pastor) who was then an architecture teacher and was yet uncertain about being a pastor, received a life-changing call from God: “Roland, blow the trumpet! For if you do not, it will mean doom for my people.” These crystal-clear words have launched him into the full-time ministry, and has charged him to remain faithful in it for the past 30 years.

He has obeyed the Lord, and I for one am a result of his obedience. Yet until today, I feel that God is still looking for more men and women who will “blow the trumpet” for the generations to hear, that we might return to the Lord and His ways! This reminds me of Mordecai’s promptings to Esther,

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"” (Esther 4:14, NIV)

I believe I was born for such a time as this, when society’s values and standards are continually being divorced from the principles of the Word of God. God summons His sons and daughters to be His voice to this generation, and I’d like to respond to this call by not only preaching to the youth on Sundays and disicipling a group of young men and women, but also by publishing my God-thoughts through this blog.

It is with a passionate desire that I hope to be sharing with you priceless principles that God has taught me in the past few years about the Christian race, the ministry, faith, discipleship, relationships, romance, among others. It is my conviction that, like any other follower of Christ, I will and I ought not to remain silent!

The Basin of Grace: Washing my disciples’ feet

JOHN 13:34

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.”

breath-taking view from the Abraham Hall of Peniel Prayer Mountain, Tarlac

from my journal

January 25, 2014. Today will surely be among those that I (we) will never (and should never!) fail to remember. Because today, I washed my disciples’ feet.

Pastoring the youth ministry for about four years already and discipling many of them for about six to seven years now, I’ve always know in my heart that it will happen.. it shall come sooner or later. However, though I’ve thought of it twice or thrice, I simply have not received any clear leading to do so in the past. Ngayon lang.

God of timing. God ha set the timing perfectly as our hearts have been marinated lately as result of our two-week fast, kaya napaka-sensitive ng lahat to the promptings of God.

Tears began to flow as we talked about serving and loving our disciples unconditionally, as well as the need to ensure that our hearts are healed and healthy-- (especially even after heartbreaking experiences with disciples who left) not calloused and defensive. But they began to literally sob and weep aloud, with faces covered with their hands when I made it known that I wanted to wash their feet.

Christ in me. I sensed that it was Christ in me (He dwells in each of us, amen?) when I took off my shoes, knelt down, and started to wash their feet one by one. Kneeling down and washing their feet was a very humbling moment for me as I took the literal form of a servant, carrying their feet onto the water basin and scooping water to cleanse them.

Commitment. In my heart at the time I was telling God two things: first, I was thanking Him for the opportunity to share in His humility and be like Him. At the same time, I was asking God for grace, since washing their feet meant my commitment of love and mercy to each one, deciding to love, lead, serve, and accept them “despite of..” and "no matter what". I knew apart from Him I can only break my covenant.

Grace. Not one in the room was perfect. The years of discipleship has shown a lot of issues that need rebuke, correction, patience, love, and grace. Yet Jesus washed his disciples’ feet (a) to offer his mercy: that His love would surpass even their greatest mistakes; and (b) to offer grace: to touch the unclean and grimy parts of the people he was committed with... and to wash away their unkindness with His kindness. Oh, the basin of grace.
I told them that because of what took place on this day, wherever destiny may bring us, they will always have a part of me.

My exact words that still jerk tears in me:

“If ever you runaway, make mistakes, turn away from God, leave your spot or calling.... REMEMBER THIS DAY. Magagalit, magtatampo, malulungkot man ako, REMEMBER THIS DAY. Because on this day, by God’s grace, I have chosen to offer Christ’s mercy and grace. If ever these unfortunate things happen, balik ka lang... Committed ako sayo.” (Oh man! What’s with the tears again? I need that pack of Kleenex please!)

Today I have witness that yes, it is true -- that more often than not, when one party humbles himself and kneels down, the two parties usually end up both humbled and both on their knees. This was what happened. After washing all of their feet, everyone just bowed down before our Lord --- humbled, thankful, amazed, healed. Crying out, speaking in heavenly languages, worshipping, consecrating.

After our extensive time of prayer, worship and soaking came HUGS!!! (I love hugs!) What I have sensed and heard from them is that everyone received an overwhelming amount of love, mercy, and grace. It’s the sort that makes your heart explode! Unspeakable, uncontainable! Too good to be true --- supernatural! OH MY HEART IS FULL.

As a result, my love for them increased in so many ways as my level of commitment also increased! I didn’t realize until that day that I am capable of loving them that much (thank You Jesus for enlarging my heart!). And in the same way, it brings to much joy to my heart (and I believe to the Father’s heart) that, as a result of receiving pure grace and love, their love for one another also soared to lavish heights! I have never seen them have more love for each other before! OH MY HEART IS FULL.

To end my sharing, I will be completely open in revealing that it has always been my heart’s desire to not only have a leader’s mind, but a leader’s heart (which is, of course, a servant’s heart). I remember three years ago during our team trip to Baguio City, because of some occurrences unknown to them but known to my heart (uhm, I’m not sure if they even know this), on our way home I was crying in a dark corner of our vehicle... and I typed a short note on my phone to express my agony --- “I have the mind of a leader, but not a heart of one.” :(

Thankfully, for the past years God has changed me. And he continues to do so.
But today, I have been totally set free! Today all of these were banished by the touch and grace of God. I too was cleansed and renewed from the basin of grace. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus.

Oh, the beauty of the basin of grace.